Former Atlanta Braves reliever John Rocker took a time out from his busy schedule to do an “Ask Me Anything” chat at Reddit today, and surprisingly, it wasn’t pretty. Among the breaking news: he’s generous when it comes to giving away batteries, he feels bad for Alex Rodriguez, likes diversity when cultures assimilate, and once dated Dennis Martinez’s daughter.
Q; What did you do with all the batteries that the Mets fans threw at you during the ’99 playoffs?
Rocker: I give the batteries to your girlfriend for her vibrator
Q: Did you ride the 7 train for yourself after you made those comments to see for yourself if your assumptions were correct?
Rocker: I rode the 7 train, about 40x before making those comments, so my comments weren’t assumptions, they were what I saw
Q: Has your opinion of New York changed since your moronic rant?
Rocker: no, especially with jack-offs like you
Q: Thanks for apparently inspiring the character of Kenny Powers. Other than that, you can fuck right off.
Rocker: What have you inspired besides numerous abortions.
Q: Why do you like reddit? And what is your thoughts on this scandalous PED drama from yesterday?
A-Rod…is he really a dick like the media makes him out to be?
Rocker: Alex is actually a friend of mine and I feel for him with all of the stuff he’s dealing with. He’ll get through it, but his career and legacy will never be the same. He’s a good dude and it’s very unfortunate how things are ending for him.
Q: Why don’t you consider the racial diversity in New York City a good thing?
Rocker: I have no problem with diversity. I do have a problem with the intentional lack of a willingness to assimilate. I have lived abroad in Puerto Rico 3 times, Mexico and Venezuela once and when I lived abroad I conformed to the culture I was in and never expected them to conform to me. I feel it shows a great amount of disrespect to your hosts if you expect them to conform to you. I feel that immigrants of past generations understood that the only way for them to truly realize everything this great nation has to offer was to assimilate. I feel that realization is lost on the majority of our modern immigrants. I lived in the most diverse space you can imagine (a professional baseball clubhouse) for 13 years of my life. I was surrounded by diversity all day every day. I loved it. Making no effort to assimilate to the heritage of a country I love and you volunteered to immigrate to simply offends me.
Q: Follow up: when in your life did you realize your racism? Did that contribute to your growing homo- and xeno- phobias?
Rocker: Racist? If dating 3 black women, Denis Martinez’s daughter who is Nicaraguan and god knows how many women from Puerto Rico and Venezuela makes me a racist then I guess you got me. How does it feel being a sheep who is spoon fed every opinion you have by some blathering talking head on TV. Did or do you ever find it odd that the only people that ever accused me of being a racist were journalists; the majority of which had never and have never met me. Do you have any idea how many teammates, ex-teammates, ex-girlfriends, hometown friends etc. were interviewed by media non of which ever supported the accusations the media so desperately wanted confirmed. Don’t worry about the truth little sheep. The dark is much more comforting for people like you.
Q: John, I was at a Braves game earlier and found a fan that had a custom Rocker jersey. People in the stands were offering the guy $150, $200 to buy it right off his back. I thought that was pretty interesting.
Rocker: It’s good to know that there are still a few idiots left in this world.
Q: Have you ever fucked any fat girls?
Rocker: Not unless you consider you’re mom fat.
Q: Why do you have such a potty mouth?
Rocker: Because I’ve grown up dealing with despicable shitheads; so many of whom we have formally met today. If you don’t like it; go and fucking do something else.
Q: You generated a ton of controversy when you said you took steroids, then said, “let’s be honest here, who wasn’t?” Two questions: 1) Were there any baseball players who are normally viewed as “clean” by fans and the media who juiced and 2) How do you think Major League Baseball has handled the PED issue, especially in light of the recent Biogenesis suspensions.
Rocker: Well the guys I know who were thought to be clean that I know weren’t I’m certainly not going to out in a ridiculous forum like this. As far as the handling by MLB it seems there doing the best they can. One way to fix the problem for good is to have a positive PED test nullify a player’s contract which would give the team the opportunity to void all fiscal responsibility. That would grab your attention as a player.
Q: Why are you here? No one likes you.
Rocker: You can tell more about someone by who his enemies are as opposed to who his friends are. It would say a lot about me as a person if idiots like you people who obviously have nothing better to do on a Tuesday afternoon than play on your computer actually liked me. I’m here because I’m retired at the age of 38. You’re here because your a 35 year old waiter who lives in his mom’s basement and have nothing better to do. Talk shit when you’ve actually done something with you’re life you useless shit.